“I
am just a raven here, delivering this letter written by my dearest friend and my advisor, "Shraddha Inamdar". Feminism has been discussed and scrutinized throughout the nation, but what
does women think of it? My friend tells you her perceptions about it. I hope
she touches your hearts.”
Dear
modern society,
If you’re an adult you must be aware of the
national affairs of our nation because all that you watch on your big LED
television set are the news channels which tells you exactly what the nation wants
to know; you certainly open the sports page first while reading the newspaper
if you’re a sports enthusiast in your prime twenties; you must be collecting all
the fashion magazines to follow the latest trends and be the trend-setter girl
in your college; But while doing so, I would like to believe that you have come
across the incidents and accidents that happen with women in our country.
While articles on women empowerment take a look
at our rich heritage and enlightened societies of the past where, women were
treated as equals and worshiped as goddesses. But the TRUTH is that in
modern India, which has come far away from the women-no-less-than-men belief, a
woman has always been a second grade citizen, no matter what its esteemed
leaders have said or done. It is very hard to fathom how slow moving the
cultural exchange of the world is when you find out that there are several
places across the country where even today a baby girl is killed or abandoned
the moment she is born or a new bride is tortured and killed just because her
family wasn’t able to give her groom a bigger car or a house.
It is
difficult to understand and digest that even in this 21st century,
harmful customs of the ancient world coexist with modern appliances and
thought. However, that may come as hardly any surprise to anyone who has lived
in India – the contradicting thoughts of the society is something that can only
be explained by a refrain from an old Bollywood song: “It happens only in
India!”
Yes, it
is only in India where goddess Lakshmi is worshiped and yet the new bride (who
is considered as goddess Lakshmi in Hindu culture) is tortured for dowry, where
goddess Saraswati is worshiped and yet little girls are not allowed to go to
school, where that glaring and brutal gang rapes occur frequently in a state
that was once headed by a woman Chief Minister, where ministers who dare watch
porn videos in the parliament are pardoned with no serious harm but a rape
victim is considered as a ‘kalank’.
Gender
discrimination is the least of worries for women in India, which is now known
otherwise as the fourth most dangerous country in the world for women. Instances
of violence against women doesn’t end with this but has an astonishing and grim
variety to it – with acid throwing (attacks), domestic violence stemming out of
dowry, rape, harassment and an assortment of others.
Our
generation is always been eager and very adaptive towards the western culture which
brings hobbies like drinking, partying, western clothes and language, sometimes,
even with their accents. These hobbies are acceptable or over looked when a boy
does it by casually saying, “He is a boy” and criticized and cursed when a girl
does it. It just shows we are still incapable of accepting the fact that even a
girl is capable of having any of those hobbies or simply have their own wishes,
likes or dislikes. The only question that comes to my mind is why only us?
Why is
it that only when a girl dresses in shorts or wears low waist jeans, she is
considered as shameless and called a slut, whereas when a guy wears low waist
jeans/ trousers or shots or leaves couple of buttons of his shirt open, is
considered cool? Can’t a girl have her own likes and ways to get dressed?
Why is
it that people of this country, on hearing unfortunate news of rape, questions
what the girl was wearing instead of wondering what she might be going through?
Why is it that they blame the victim for wearing “provoking” clothes? Girls
wearing either a short dress or a sari, in India, gets sexually harassed. So
does the dress still matter? NO. Women in the US or UK wear short dresses, does
crimes against women (especially sexual assaults and harassments) there are more
than they are in India? NO. So does what dress a girl is wearing a reason for
her to be a victim of such unfortunate crime? NO, absolutely not.
Why is
it that a girl is expected to be a housewife and make it her only priority? Why
is it that before getting married, bride to be is asked if she can cook, make
coffee or tea? Is she a kitchen appliance or a human being? If she works and
makes her career her priority, she is considered self-centred or if she doesn't know how to cook it makes her manner-less? Why can’t we accept that a
girl also can be ambitious and may not be able to cook? Why is it compulsory
for only a girl to know how to cook or keep her ambitions second priority?
Can’t she just be ambitious and independent, like a guy?
Why is
it that a bride’s family have to pay dowry to the groom? Are they doing any
favor by marrying us? No, not at all! Then why is it that a bride is tortured
to death just because her family wasn’t able to afford expensive car or
furniture or house? People argue with this saying it is a tradition followed
since centuries. But that’s not true. Centuries back the bride’s family gave
gifts to the newly-weds to wish them good luck for their new life together. It
wasn’t a compulsion, they gave as much as they can afford, but today it is made
a compulsion, a forceful act. So is it still the tradition?
All
these questions and thoughts are not just for the guys but also for the girls
to think and act upon. Today, we as a nation, have come so far, living in the
21st century, still why our thoughts are stuck to our old customs. I
am not against following our traditions but just the ones that affect people.
Guys,
we see, based on many surveys conducted by different media channels, that there
are very few people in the crowd who will come to rescue a girl (or anyone for
that matter) if she is being a victim of any crime. The only request I do,
being a girl, is imagine your friend or sister as the victim, what will you do?
Just watch? Or will you interfere and find some help? By your one interference
and help you might end up gifting someone their life.
Girls,
we Indians worship quite a lot of goddesses and it is believed that every girl
is a goddess. Do remember that there is a Maha
Kaali in you who will give you the strength to do and achieve what you want
or destroy any rakshas who tries to
harm you. Take your safety in your own hands, keep a pepper spray or take a
couple of self-defence classes. Have faith in yourself, be independent and
strong, we are no less than anyone.
In the
simplest of words let’s try to create an environment where women can make
independent decisions on their personal development as well as shine as equals
in society and most importantly feel safe.
Feel
free, be safe!
An
Independent Indian girl.
