Do you support Feminism?

“I am just a raven here, delivering this letter written by my dearest friend and my advisor, "Shraddha Inamdar". Feminism has been discussed and scrutinized throughout the nation, but what does women think of it? My friend tells you her perceptions about it. I hope she touches your hearts.”

Dear modern society,

If you’re an adult you must be aware of the national affairs of our nation because all that you watch on your big LED television set are the news channels which tells you exactly what the nation wants to know; you certainly open the sports page first while reading the newspaper if you’re a sports enthusiast in your prime twenties; you must be collecting all the fashion magazines to follow the latest trends and be the trend-setter girl in your college; But while doing so, I would like to believe that you have come across the incidents and accidents that happen with women in our country.

While articles on women empowerment take a look at our rich heritage and enlightened societies of the past where, women were treated as equals and worshiped as goddesses. But the TRUTH is that in modern India, which has come far away from the women-no-less-than-men belief, a woman has always been a second grade citizen, no matter what its esteemed leaders have said or done. It is very hard to fathom how slow moving the cultural exchange of the world is when you find out that there are several places across the country where even today a baby girl is killed or abandoned the moment she is born or a new bride is tortured and killed just because her family wasn’t able to give her groom a bigger car or a house.

It is difficult to understand and digest that even in this 21^st century, harmful customs of the ancient world coexist with modern appliances and thought. However, that may come as hardly any surprise to anyone who has lived in India – the contradicting thoughts of the society is something that can only be explained by a refrain from an old Bollywood song: “It happens only in India!”

Yes, it is only in India where goddess Lakshmi is worshiped and yet the new bride (who is considered as goddess Lakshmi in Hindu culture) is tortured for dowry, where goddess Saraswati is worshiped and yet little girls are not allowed to go to school, where that glaring and brutal gang rapes occur frequently in a state that was once headed by a woman Chief Minister, where ministers who dare watch porn videos in the parliament are pardoned with no serious harm but a rape victim is considered as a ‘kalank’.

Gender discrimination is the least of worries for women in India, which is now known otherwise as the fourth most dangerous country in the world for women. Instances of violence against women doesn’t end with this but has an astonishing and grim variety to it – with acid throwing (attacks), domestic violence stemming out of dowry, rape, harassment and an assortment of others.

Our generation is always been eager and very adaptive towards the western culture which brings hobbies like drinking, partying, western clothes and language, sometimes, even with their accents. These hobbies are acceptable or over looked when a boy does it by casually saying, “He is a boy” and criticized and cursed when a girl does it. It just shows we are still incapable of accepting the fact that even a girl is capable of having any of those hobbies or simply have their own wishes, likes or dislikes. The only question that comes to my mind is why only us?

Why is it that only when a girl dresses in shorts or wears low waist jeans, she is considered as shameless and called a slut, whereas when a guy wears low waist jeans/ trousers or shots or leaves couple of buttons of his shirt open, is considered cool? Can’t a girl have her own likes and ways to get dressed?

Why is it that people of this country, on hearing unfortunate news of rape, questions what the girl was wearing instead of wondering what she might be going through? Why is it that they blame the victim for wearing “provoking” clothes? Girls wearing either a short dress or a sari, in India, gets sexually harassed. So does the dress still matter? NO. Women in the US or UK wear short dresses, does crimes against women (especially sexual assaults and harassments) there are more than they are in India? NO. So does what dress a girl is wearing a reason for her to be a victim of such unfortunate crime? NO, absolutely not.

Why is it that girls are not allowed to stay out late? Why is it that only they have to be home by 7pm? When a girl asks such questions to her family the only answer she gets is “It is not safe outside”.  Is it her fault that there are some psychos going around the city who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Why is it that a girl is expected to be a housewife and make it her only priority? Why is it that before getting married, bride to be is asked if she can cook, make coffee or tea? Is she a kitchen appliance or a human being? If she works and makes her career her priority, she is considered self-centred or if she doesn't know how to cook it makes her manner-less? Why can’t we accept that a girl also can be ambitious and may not be able to cook? Why is it compulsory for only a girl to know how to cook or keep her ambitions second priority? Can’t she just be ambitious and independent, like a guy?

Why is it that a bride’s family have to pay dowry to the groom? Are they doing any favor by marrying us? No, not at all! Then why is it that a bride is tortured to death just because her family wasn’t able to afford expensive car or furniture or house? People argue with this saying it is a tradition followed since centuries. But that’s not true. Centuries back the bride’s family gave gifts to the newly-weds to wish them good luck for their new life together. It wasn’t a compulsion, they gave as much as they can afford, but today it is made a compulsion, a forceful act. So is it still the tradition?

All these questions and thoughts are not just for the guys but also for the girls to think and act upon. Today, we as a nation, have come so far, living in the 21^st century, still why our thoughts are stuck to our old customs. I am not against following our traditions but just the ones that affect people.

Guys, we see, based on many surveys conducted by different media channels, that there are very few people in the crowd who will come to rescue a girl (or anyone for that matter) if she is being a victim of any crime. The only request I do, being a girl, is imagine your friend or sister as the victim, what will you do? Just watch? Or will you interfere and find some help? By your one interference and help you might end up gifting someone their life.

Girls, we Indians worship quite a lot of goddesses and it is believed that every girl is a goddess. Do remember that there is a Maha Kaali in you who will give you the strength to do and achieve what you want or destroy any rakshas who tries to harm you. Take your safety in your own hands, keep a pepper spray or take a couple of self-defence classes. Have faith in yourself, be independent and strong, we are no less than anyone.

In the simplest of words let’s try to create an environment where women can make independent decisions on their personal development as well as shine as equals in society and most importantly feel safe.

Feel free, be safe!

An Independent Indian girl.